areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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