She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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