So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
