I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
