The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
