I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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