No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
