I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Please, let me fuck your mom
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
bring money and cleavage
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
