my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
