I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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