hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
