It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
