Im at strip club and am horny
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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