I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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