8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
