This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
