you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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