My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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