My friends, they love my intelligence
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
