Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I would fuck him just for his dog
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
