You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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