I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
