booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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