I wish I could teleport
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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