Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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