her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
