this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
