You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
