The maid of honor just puked.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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