you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
