Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
