A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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