Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
