Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
