I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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