He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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