Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
