i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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