I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
