Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
