around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
