In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
