On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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