This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
