I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I have tasted many bathrooms
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
