Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
