nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
