Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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