why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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