when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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