To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
